Damasio has found that social emotions such as admiration or compassion, which result from a focus on the behaviour of others, tend to activate the posteromedial cortices, another set of brain regions also thought to be important in constructing our sense of self.
The upshot is the social me.
I had never thought of admiration as an emotion, but, of course, it belongs with the hierarchy, pecking order stuff. So, on the one hand, as I admire you, I'm lifting you up and setting myself down in comparison. That's why comparisons are odious.
On the other hand, as I admire you I'm recognising at least a potential in myself to be admirable. And my experience is that, as I feel love and kindness and compassion and respect for others, I get softer and wider and wetter and more available to receive the thwock of the other.
And so, this seems to relate to that thing about friendship: the more I do for you or give you, the more I will like you because (in my simple world) it's clear that I wouldn't do a lot for you unless you were a lovely person. And, as I've just proved to myself that you're a lovely person, then I should do more for you.
And so the wide spiral of generosity or charity or love begins.
The upshot is the social me.
I had never thought of admiration as an emotion, but, of course, it belongs with the hierarchy, pecking order stuff. So, on the one hand, as I admire you, I'm lifting you up and setting myself down in comparison. That's why comparisons are odious.
On the other hand, as I admire you I'm recognising at least a potential in myself to be admirable. And my experience is that, as I feel love and kindness and compassion and respect for others, I get softer and wider and wetter and more available to receive the thwock of the other.
And so, this seems to relate to that thing about friendship: the more I do for you or give you, the more I will like you because (in my simple world) it's clear that I wouldn't do a lot for you unless you were a lovely person. And, as I've just proved to myself that you're a lovely person, then I should do more for you.
And so the wide spiral of generosity or charity or love begins.
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