Category: Sense.non.Sense

A Neighbour

17/6/2013

A neighbour is... "Anyone we might foresee would be harmed by our neglect."

Heard by Tim on Thought for the Day.

Vowel Renewal

10/5/2012

"In early 1925, in Mexico, DH Lawrence contracted malaria. In his weakened state, tuberculosis took a hold, and for a few weeks he hoovered between life and death."

In a 1984 parliamentary debate on civil defence and preparations for nuclear war John Wells MP (Conservative, Maidstone) suggested that Glenn Hoddle, Bryan Robson and Ian Botham should be put in charge in the event of a nuclear catastrophy [sic]:

"Is my hon. Friend aware that the present position of local government advice on civil defence is absurd? If there were a holocaust, it would be ridiculous for the nation to be led by faceless, unknown local bureaucrats. We want people such as Glenn Hoddle in London or Bryan Robson in Manchester, or Mr. Botham — people whose faces are well known — [Interruption.] I am being serious. We need people whose faces are well known to the nation to lead us at a time of trouble, not faceless bureaucrats."

Recently, Liam Fox said on Radio 4 about using helicopters in Libya:

"We already have fast jets in action, this gives us a chance to target new targets in a way we weren't able to do. This a continuation."

Hmm.

Neuticles

17/1/2012

What Pet Owners are Saying about Neutering with Neuticles^®
	"I want to thank you for your incredible product. I wanted to have my 14 m/o Lab, Jacob, neutered to help reduce the unwanted pet problem that exist in the world. As I'm sure you have heard many times, I personally wrestled with the idea of having him look altered. With a couple clicks of the mouse, I found your website. After reviewing information from your very helpful site, I had made up my mind. This WAS the deciding factor that eased my mind. I reviewed the product information with my vet and decided to use the Neuticles Natural. The procedure was easy and Jacob looks Natural. I gladly advertise that he is neutered, but looks intact." Steve Brazeau - Brooksville, Fl.
	"My terrier, Ruckus, is soon to have his 9th birthday, and his Neuticles will have their anniversary shortly thereafter. We've never regretted the small additional expense of Neuticles when his original equipment was removed. Los Angeles has just enacted a mandatory spay/neuter law. More people should know about this wonderful option. Thanks... nine years later." Jack Anderson - Los Angeles, CA "I've put off neutering "Crooked Joe" for months and when I found out about Neuticles and spoke to them it made me feel better about neutering. Joe not only looks the same now- but dosen't know he's missing anything." Jeff Lane - Oak Park, Il "He's a guy and I wanted him to remain looking like one." Lane Hinderman - Metairie, Louisiana	"Frodo never knew he lost anything and is just a happier little dog since he's been neutered with Neuticles." Janell Suasser - San Lorenzo, CA "The old way of neutering is 200 years old- Neuticles* is about 199 years overdue!"* Eric Leven - Tampa Bay, FL "A dog is like a kid- consideration for his feelings." Greg Samual - Fresno, CA "Just call me a caring pet owner." Trish Fischer - Anchorage, Alaska "Neuticles* were the absolute least I could do."* Glenda Nelson - Spring, TX "Baby Snow has all the benefits of being neutered-Neuticles* are just a whole lot nicer."* Stephen Samual - Redcliff, KY

Tattoos a no-no for prospective clergy

1/10/2010

OCTOBER 1, 2010

Tattoos: No Longer a Barrier
to the Cubicle

With 38% of millennials (18- to 29-year-olds) and 32% of Gen Xers (30 to 45) sporting tattoos, prospective employers in fields such as advertising, marketing, sales, and technology are inclined to be tolerant of body ornamentation, says John A. Challenger, CEO of global outplacement firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas. Nevertheless, more conservative standards still prevail in banking, the law, accounting, and the clergy, the firm says.

Source: Challenger, Gray and Christmas @Work

Really Making People Better

17/2/2010

Simon found me this at kadir-buxton.com. This is just the first of many fantastical pages. What's not to like?

Decades ago I discovered a cure for mental health problems. The cure, which I term the Kadir-Buxton Method, has been used on a wide variety of mental health problems. The procedure stuns and resets the brain of the patient, so that the patient returns to a normal condition. The Kadir-Buxton Method is done by making a fist of both hands, and striking both ears of the patient at exactly the same time and pressure with the soft part of the inner hand which is where the thumb joins the hand. The arrow in Figure 1 shows this point for your ease of use.

The procedure is painless and the patient regains consciousness faster the less hard the double blow is struck. With practice, I am able to render the patients unconscious for only thirty seconds. Other individuals have faired even better.

In Denial

11/11/2009

Simon spotted on Conservapedia this list of things that liberals deny (especially look out for no. 13 in list 2, and dismay):

Liberals deny the Nobel Prize is an award given by liberals to other liberals, sometimes granted in an awkward manner designed to punish a critic of liberal falsehoods
Liberals deny that we are suffering from global cooling, with record low temperatures disproving their hoax of global warming
Liberals deny how they deify government officials, similar to how communists deified Stalin and Lenin and still deify Castro^[1]
Liberals deny how fellow travelers engage in deceit, or at least refuse to admit it
Liberals deny they are liberal, and that most of the media are liberal
Hollywood values, professor values and general liberal values have consequences for those who believe in them, and also for innocent victims
Liberals deny that they have censored prayer in public school^[2]
A woman significantly reduces her risk of breast cancer by having children rather than abortions
About half of promiscuous people carry sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), and those STDs cause infertility^[3]
The strident promoters of evolution generally have weaker credentials than advocates of intelligent design^[4]
college faculties at nearly every American school are completely dominated by liberals, and have virtually no conservatives
homosexuality shortens lifespan for a wide variety of reasons
reducing the number of guns, which are primarily defensive weapons, results in an increase in crime
Liberals deny that the war in Iraq was needed and also deny that the surge has worked
In denial that Hitler and the Nazi party were in fact Liberals (anti-Semitism is a well-documented characteristic of Liberal Christianity as is the PETA-like Green wing of the Third Reich^[5])

More generally, liberals also deny:

That Obama ran the dirtiest campaign since Johnson
More than 80% of child molesters are pornography addicts
People like young mass murderers who take atheistic beliefs to their logical conclusions are not "crazy" or "insane", but are true believers.
That young mass murderers fit the profile of public school-trained atheism
The intellectual justification for Hitler's attempt to build a master Aryan race was the theory of evolution
That feminists censor discussion about differences between men and women, and boys and girls.
That Lawrence Summers was fired as President of Harvard for making a politically incorrect suggestion about women and math aptitude
state run health care has lead to Islamic terrorism in Britain, and would do so in the US. ^[6]
obesity is a bigger problem than hunger in the Western world
That a school having virtually no conservative teachers and many atheists and liberals is a liberal school
That liberals attempt to intimidate and ostracize conservatives, particularly in school environments and some occupations.^[7]
That liberals support taxpayer-funded abortion
That girls and women in sports have debilitating ACL knee injuries at 3-4 times the rate of men,^[8] and are vulnerable to other injuries^[9]
That the numerous premature deaths of Hollywood stars are the result of Hollywood values^[10]
That homeschoolers often do better than those who attend public school
That culture affects politics, and people's views and lifestyles
That successful democracy, both historically and logically, is the result of Protestant Christianity^[11]
That Ronald Reagan's public exhortation, "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall," helped cause the nearly 30-year-old Berlin Wall later be torn down
That gun control increases crime
That reducing taxes stimulates the economy
That choosing abortion over childbirth increases the risk of breast cancer
That the mainstream media is biased
That privately-run transport is more efficient than government-run transport
That universal health care is inferior medical care
That unions interfere with employment opportunities
That liberal leaders engage in shocking wrongdoing, hypocrisy, and abuse of power^[12]
That ideas do matter, and can cause great harm, including liberal falsehoods
That Islamic extremism is a threat to the Western civilization^[13]
That banning same-sex marriage is analogous to banning polygamy
That aggressive interrogation is often the only way to obtain answers from terrorists
how the liberal ideology is pushed on unsuspecting others, particularly youngsters
That free trade strengthens global democracies
That a child in a mother's womb has rights established by the Constitution
That a vote for (yea) or a vote against (nea) is an absolute position
That you can be held accountable for the statements uttered
That climate forecasts 50 years from now are as inaccurate as 15 days from now
That politicians that proclaim 'Change' actually do not break with policies of the past
That removing Saddam Hussein from power was a good thing.
That eating meat and dairy is important for physical and mental health.
That marijuana use has lasting psychological effects.
That illegal immigrants contribute to crime and poverty in the towns and cities they occupy.
That English will cease being the language of the United States in 20 years unless it is protected as the official language (and that this would be a loss if it happened).
That President Bush didn't cause Hurricane Katrina.
That President Clinton was responsible for Rwanda inaction.
That the Democratic party discriminates against African-Americans.
That restricting free speech by the Fairness Doctrine is actually not fair nor democratic.
That we can drill oil our way out of high gas prices.
That we can't replace our dependence on oil with green technologies, when in fact we need both oil and green technologies to solve our energy crisis.
That opposing same-sex marriage is justified and point to decriminalized interracial marriage bans as proof.
That they are intolerant of opposing viewpoints and then try to stifle further discussion.
That socialism and liberalism have the same political agenda.
That God should have a place in government
That modern drilling methods result in minimal environmental impact, even if they were implemented in uninhabited lands such as the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge
That companies like Exxon should pay billions of dollars in damages to the general public, in addition to the money they spend to clean up industrial accidents and to recompense those directly affected
That selective logging keeps forests healthier by reducing the risk of wildfire
That high food prices are not caused by ethanol production, but rather by the million acres of crop- and pastureland that have been taken out of production in the interest of wildlife conservation.
That the life of a human is more important than the life of an animal or plant.
That modern technology can make coal clean
That a fence is the most effective and ultimately, the most peaceful way to protect our large border from illegal immigrants trying to get in
That socially dangerous people exhibit a well-documented pattern of reading habits
That heavy metal music is generally anti-Christian and promotes themes such as drugs, sex and Satan worship.
The existence of God and Jesus, our Lord and Savior.

A Neighbour

Vowel Renewal

Defence of the Realm

Neuticles

Tattoos a no-no for prospective clergy

Really Making People Better

In Denial

Author: Andrew

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